


encore. repeat.

by moonji



Category: K-pop, NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Break Up, Established Relationship, Leaving Home, M/M, Mental Breakdown, POV First Person, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-01-25 17:42:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18579412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonji/pseuds/moonji
Summary: • A SHORT DRABBLE •3. 2. 1. Ùn. Dō. Tré. Just as quickly.





	1. encore.

**Author's Note:**

> A very short MarkHyuck drabble I came uo with months before. I posted it on a different site, and it's slightly modified. So if any of you find that, hey! Hahaha!
> 
> Anyway, I hope it's heartbreaking and angsty enough! Tell me your thoughts!
> 
> But, BTW, POV is not explicitly stated, but it's discernable.

_**3\. 2. 1. Start.** _

"I love you," was what he always told me; by day and by night -- it was always those three words that he said to affirm his feelings to which I always replied with a meaningful nod or a smile.

"Stay," was what he always vocalised when he felt clingy or flustered. And I always lovingly said, "You don't need to ask. I will," before I cuddle him.

"You look ugly today," was what he always snorted when he wanted to compliment me during times I looked good. And I always laughed it off.

But gone are those days of love. "I'm leaving," he mumbled under his breath one day as we were - oddly - solemnly eating dinner. I remember dropping my spoon and fork, my chest constricting while a disgusting feeling brewed deep in the pit of my stomach.

"Why," I inquired, doing my best to even my breathing. I remember trying to keep a straight face as I waited for his reply and succeeding at it. "I'm tried of everything," was what he only replied with.

I didn't respond.

Ever since then it felt like our relationship was nonexistent; I don't see him everytime I wake up nor do I sleep with him beside me, I don't kiss him goodbye anymore nor does he bid goodbye when it's time for him to go, and I'm not updated about his whereabouts like how I was before.

It wasn't a complete shock when, one day, I walked in from work to him filling his suitcase with clothes. "Are you really leaving," I could only ask him that as I went to sit on one end of the bed, opposite to him.

I heard him heave a breath before answering my question with a quivery, "Yes."

Sucking in a sharp breath, I smiled bitterly. The despicable feeling that had once graced the pit of my stomach was back along with a lump on my throat. I got up, walked, positioned myself close to him and said, "Just so you know, you look ugly today."

He paused, hand mid-air, and looked at me with his lips slightly parted. After a few seconds, tears his tears fell down. "Don't make it harder than it already is," he muttered and returned to packing.

I bit my lips and blinked my lids for a few times as an attempt to keep myself together. "Stay?" I tried again, hoping and praying he'd listen. I felt enervated, my mind and body going weak with every minute that passed. I couldn't imagine life without him.

"Please. Don't," he sobbed as he reached for the handle bar. Without another word he got up and walked away from me. All I could do was follow as he maneuvered his way to the front door.

My senses were going haywire. It felt like there were flashing light-signs everywhere and it made my head hurt. He was leaving me and I couldn't do anything.

"So --- this is goodbye," he questioned, his free hand gripping the doorknob. By then my heart was throbbing extremely hard in an implausible speed, my breathing rapid and my eyes blurry from the tears that started to form.

And everything went slow motion; how he twisted the knob and opened the door that freed him from confinement, how he turned to look at me with his tear-stricken face, how he smiled one last smile,  and how he turned away and walked forward.

The tears that brimmed my eyes found their way out, my demeanor that was then calm became miserable, and my heart that was cracked shattered to pieces.

I tried running after him to say sorry and beg but that idea became short lived when I tripped on myself. My body clashed on the pavement with a thud but I couldn't care less. I should've done my best --- I should've been my best.

With the remaining strength that I had left, I reached a hand out as I said as loudly as I could muster, "I love you," while looking at his retreating figure.

"I really, really love you," I said again, hoping he'd hear albeit how far he was. "I love you." And again. And again. But to no avail, he didn't come back.

I sobbed quietly then, realizing I truly lost him. "I love you," was only what I could say.

_There was no reply._

 


	2. repeat.

_**Ùn. Dō. Tré.** Continue._

The wind blew against my face, sending my hair askew. I slightly shivered inside the coat I wore out, the night's cold spreading in an uneven pace throughout my body.

Exhaling sharply, I crossed my arms and pressed against my own being, trying to keep the littlest of heat that my body still produced.

I was out, wandering about in a grassy open field near the river along the city, without any actual agenda. I just felt like it; the serenity of such scenery during the night seemed to be pleasing as of the moment.

It's been over a year since I left him and my life's been a waste of one. I don't know. Ever since that fateful occurence, I've always felt enervated, losing energy so much I felt virtually dead.

I lost my will, my passion, my reasons to thrive in this hell-hole of a world.

I know everything was my partly fault; if I had just paid more effort to getting how I felt out, all of this wouldn't have happened. I was dumb and stupid, and that fact that I barely noticed then was prevalent now.

They say people learn best with the hardest of ways, and to some extent, such saying has some ounce of truth because I did -- I did learn my lesson the hard way.

I wish I didn't have to, pondering about it now. The hard way retracted me from what mattered -- he. It cost me everything I had, and I wasn't even able to do the slightest damage repair.

All my idiosyncratic self was able to do was let it happen until what was once 'we' reached it's peak, the damage reaching such an extreme extent that all of what my life was crumbled, crushed like fine powder.

"What an imbecile," I muttered to myself, feeling a familiar sting at the back of my eyes. I blinked repeatedly in an attempt to void the sensation from progressing.

Once. Twice. Thrice. Four times more.

But no matter how many times I closed and opened my eyes, it still stung. It still hurt and it was getting worse, my chest starting to constrict by the time I lost count of how much blinking I did.

My eyes welled enough to commence the effeminate action of tearing up, my chest heaving up and down as my breathing got deep and erratic which seemed to compliment the heavy teardrops that fell from my eyes.

It felt like hours -- being there like that, my head cast down while my hands were folded to cover my wasted appearance more securely between my knees.

But everything seemed to come to a halt minutes later, a voice so familiar speaking a little muffled. "Excuse me, are you okay," the voice asked, curiosity and concern evident with the way he spoke.

Every part of my body seemed to pulsate as the seconds ticked away, my nerves taking over my whole line of thinking as my expectations grew higher.

Is it him?

As to not appear dismissive, I quickly blinked away my tears while stealthily running my hands over my tear-stricken face. And when I deemed it to be done, I unfolded myself and looked up. "Yes, I'm fine," I assured, afterwards a shocked expression graced my face that mirrored that of his own.

"You," we both said at the same time.

_It was really him. The man I loved and still love._

**Author's Note:**

> Might I do a little plug? Come and try my chaptered fic, maybe? It's a little more happy than this! Haha!
> 
> Title is: best friendship (a kiss is all it takes)
> 
> Here's a link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18448412
> 
> I'd appreciate it if you come check it out (or not) teehee! Kbye needa scoot.


End file.
